I’d be a raving lunatic if it weren’t for my friends. I’d have divorced my husband, abandoned my children, left my job, walked away from my home, and be living in a van down by the river if it weren’t for the women in my life. My girlfriends keep me honest and sane. It’s almost as if my friends and I have this completely different language that allows us to say things to each other in that make us feel understood and respected. Sometimes they can say nearly the exact same things that my husband says but somehow when the words come out of his mouth I want to punch him in the face. For instance, last night after I told my friend Tig that my game plan was to wake up at 5:00am in order to write my blog, a query letter, and a business plan before church she was able to tell me in a very loving a supportive way that my plan sucked. And as I am sitting here writing in desperate need of coffee I realize she was right.
So why was it okay when Tig said it but God forbid my husband said the same thing? Maybe it’s because as women we generally dont’ try to fix a problem. We support and empathize. Men want to solve our issues like they are math problems. Women share similar stories with each other so we know we’ve walked in each other’s shoes. Women nod understandingly and make little “mmm-hmm” noises to assure the other person they’re listening. Men furrow their eyebrows and look at us like we’re speaking Mandarin Chinese. Plus none of my girlfriends think we’re going to have sex if they pretend to listen attentively.
Yet when the three -ring-circus that is the life of a working mother becomes overwhelming the first thing on the chopping block is time with our friends. Let’s face it, if the choice is between a client meeting, a parent teacher’s conference, or wine with a few girlfriends our friends just can’t compete. Yet we know that what helps keep us sane enough to perform the other two tasks is the free therapy our girlfriends provide.
I want you all to commit to clearing out space in your calendar for your friends. Stop hiding in the bunker! No more excuses! Just as you need date night with your husband you need date night with your girlfriends. Or better yet plan a girls trip! Today’s photo is from my last girl’s trip and there’s no denying the therapeutic effects of the ocean, some wine, and some cool chicks to share it with!