Marriage is hard. Let me repeat for effect: Marriage is hard. It is mostly awesome but damn, is it hard sometimes. I have ten years of marriage under my belt. Semi-significant but certainly not medal-worthy. But ten years gives you a bit of a perspective. And I can say in all honesty that I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I eloped at age 27. And thank God because there’s a good chance I might not have been brave enough to take that leap.
But here I am – and here is where a lot of working mothers find ourselves. We’re like a bunch of hamsters running around on our own little treadmills: wake up, work out, go to office, pick up kids, go to (soccer, t-ball, gymnastics, dance) practice, get home, cook dinner, fall into bed. Romantic, eh? Most night my husband and I just grunt and nod at each other while watching “Modern Family” on TiVo. And that’s on a good night – one that I don’t have a client appointment, or he is crashing on a project, or I’m drinking with my friends (my bar bills are way cheaper than therapy).
And don’t even get me started on the weekends! Is it me or have weekends become an endless round of children’s’ birthday parties, play dates, food shopping, house cleaning, yard work, various family obligations, and of course (soccer, t-ball, gymnastics, dance) practice? I’m lucky to squeeze in a little church and then by the time Sunday night rolls around I’m ready for bed so I can get up and start it all over again Monday morning. Lovely.
So when is it exactly that I am supposed to be carving out time to get my groove on with the man I’m spending the rest of my life with? The answer is never. There is never a good time, or a quiet moment, or a perfect opportunity to enjoy your husband. So don’t wait for the time to be right or you’ll be divorced or eighty and married to a stranger. Marriage doesn’t take commitment. Being happily married does! So commit to dating your husband on a regular basis. Go out to dinner without the children. Drop the kids at your parents house for the night and just stay in. Hire the questionable twelve-year-old next door for a few hours and spend an hour at the local wine bar with your life partner. I don’t care what you do or how you do it but just do it!
Because marriage is hard, but falling in love all over again with the man you married is a piece of cake.