Perhaps it’s the combination of having spent the last twelve years of my life working in the heavily male dominated industry of banking and finance.  Perhaps it is the fact that I’ve spent most of those years working in one of the most image and body conscious cities in America, Scottsdale Arizona.  But whatever the reason there seems to be no shortage of restaurants designed to lure in businessmen for lunch and happy hour with the promise of seeing barley legal waitresses in barely legal attire.

Now just to be clear I have no beef with these enterprising young women, taking advantage of a need and making a tidy profit for their efforts.  Truth be told, I’d be a hypocrite if I bashed these gals as I put myself through college slinging drinks as a bartender and flirting with my clientele for tips.  To this day I know with certainty that I would not have had enough money for books or food if it hadn’t been for the heavy subsidy provided by my regulars, the “Kettle One” men (RIP Ted).

Here’s what I do have a beef with though. And I want all the men in every office across this great nation to be perfectly clear about this one thing:  most women don’t give a rat’s patootie that you are frequenting these establishments.  We don’t feel belittled or ostracized when you opt to eat there.

So when you are snickering with the other men in the office or “sneaking” (I use the word loosely because men are generally as subtle as freight trains) out to meet a client at these joints please just drop the act because we don’t care and your odd behavior is eye-roll worthy.

Now I’m sure most men are thinking this is some sort of woman trap designed to get you written up with HR.  Surely us women who don’t have eighteen year old asses and miniskirts with the thong sticking out of the top are on some level threatened by your blatant misogyny.  I can assure you, fellas, that is not the case.

The truth is we are not threatened by your choice of lunch spots.  We are embarrassed for you.  Like cringe worthy embarrassed.  Because it is sad.  Like old hooker with too much makeup sad.

And because of my perspective of having been one of those young girls with creepy older guys in suits needing a beer and a some attention, I can say in all honesty that we are not the only ones who are embarrassed for you.

And no, the waitress doesn’t really like you.  But she does like your wallet!