Every time I meet a career woman who is pregnant, I have this overwhelming desire to sit her down immediately and verbally vomit every single piece of advice that comes to mind. So far I’ve been given just the abridged version of the advice I’d really like to give her, recommend a few books, make sure she has my email and phone number, and ask her to consider me a kind of 24-hour hotline. Amazingly the reaction from most women I accost is not to take out a restraining order but instead to say six words to me: “Thank you, I feel so alone.”
Being a working mom is the most crazy, amazing, powerful, frustrating, loving experience you will ever have in your entire life. And I am here to tell you that you can do this! But you will never do it “perfectly.” Throw “perfect” out of your vocabulary. Just toss it out the window and keep on driving because, sister, it ain’t an option for you anymore.
We’ve been fed this huge pack of lies. We’ve been told that we can bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan, and feed our smiling happy family with it. I am here to tell you that the quickest way to end up on a therapist’s couch or crying into your glass of pinot noir at your girlfriend’s house is to think that “perfect” and “working mother” belong in the same sentence. They don’t. No one has it all. Save yourself the doctor’s bill and the AA meetings and just accept the fact that if you choose to work and be a mom, life will be far from perfect.